Insights from a Seasoned Coach
For over five decades, Coach Lawrence of the Singapore Swimming Academy has guided thousands of young swimmers through their first strokes. One common occurrence in his vast experience is children crying during their initial swim lessons. This behavior, particularly among 4 to 6-year-olds, is entirely normal and often reflects a child’s emotional and psychological adjustment to a new and sometimes intimidating environment.
Crying at swim lessons can be a source of concern for parents, but in most cases, it is a temporary phase. As Coach Lawrence has seen throughout his career, many children shed tears in the beginning, only to find themselves laughing and splashing with confidence a few weeks later. Understanding the reasons behind this crying is crucial for parents as they support their children in learning this essential life skill.
Emotional and Psychological Reasons for Crying
There are several key reasons why young children may cry during their first few swim lessons, all of which are natural responses to the challenges of learning to swim.
Fear of Water
For many children, water is an unfamiliar and sometimes intimidating element. The sensation of being submerged, the inability to control movements as easily as on land, and the coolness of the water can all contribute to feelings of fear. While adults may associate water with fun or relaxation, young children often need time to build a positive relationship with it. This fear is one of the most common reasons for initial tears during swim lessons.
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is another common reason for children to cry in swim lessons, particularly for those who are still developing independence from their parents. If parents are not physically in the pool, children can feel vulnerable, heightening their anxiety. The sight of unfamiliar instructors and the sound of splashing water in an environment where they lack control can exacerbate these feelings.
Discomfort in an Unfamiliar Environment
A swimming pool is not a familiar space for many young children. The physical sensations of floating, splashing, and hearing their voices echo underwater are all new experiences. For some, this flood of new stimuli can be overwhelming, leading to tears. Adjusting to a structured learning environment, where they are asked to follow instructions in this unfamiliar space, can also contribute to their discomfort.
The Temporary Nature of Crying at Swim Lessons
Despite these common emotional reactions, crying during the early stages of swim lessons is typically a short-lived phase. As Coach Lawrence’s experience shows, children who cry often become the ones most enthusiastic about swimming after they’ve had time to adjust. The breakthrough can come suddenly, and with persistence, children often start to enjoy being in the water.
One memorable example is a student named Ethan. Ethan cried through his first three lessons, causing his mother to worry that he wasn’t ready for swimming. Coach Lawrence encouraged her to stay patient. By the fourth lesson, Ethan was splashing in the water and laughing. Within a few more sessions, he was swimming confidently. This pattern is common, as children often need time to overcome their initial fears before they can enjoy swimming.
Common Behaviors Parents May Misinterpret
It is not unusual for parents to misinterpret certain behaviors as signs that their child is not ready for swim lessons. These behaviors, such as clinging, refusing to enter the water, or resisting instructions, are often part of the adjustment process and should not be viewed as reasons to give up too soon.
- Clinging: A child who clings to their parent is seeking comfort in a stressful situation. This does not mean they are unwilling to learn, only that they need time to feel safe.
- Refusal to enter the water: Resistance can often be a child’s way of expressing anxiety or testing boundaries, but it does not mean they will continue to refuse after they adjust.
- Resisting instructions: Some children show their anxiety by ignoring or refusing to follow directions. This behavior usually diminishes once they gain confidence in the water.
Coach Lawrence emphasizes that these behaviors are all normal and part of a child’s journey toward feeling comfortable and secure in the water.
Tailored Approaches for Different Children
Different children require different teaching approaches when it comes to learning how to swim. What works for one child may not be effective for another. Coach Lawrence’s decades of experience have taught him that flexibility is key, and he adjusts his techniques based on each child’s needs.
Gentle and Nurturing Approach
For some children, a nurturing and gentle approach is the most effective. Singing songs, holding their hands, and providing constant reassurance can help these children feel more comfortable. Coach Lawrence recalls a student named Mei Ling, who initially clung tightly to her instructor out of fear. Through a slow and patient approach, she eventually began to let go, building confidence over time until she could swim independently. Though her progress was slower than some, she ultimately developed a love for swimming at her own pace.
Firmer Approach
In contrast, other children may respond better to a firmer, more disciplined approach. While parents may initially view this technique as harsh, it can be the push a child needs to overcome their fears. Coach Lawrence remembers a boy named Ryan, who refused to put his face in the water for the first few lessons. After gentle encouragement failed, Coach Lawrence used a firm but kind tone to guide Ryan to try it. Though resistant at first, Ryan quickly overcame his hesitation and by the end of the lesson was practicing with confidence. Later, his mother expressed her gratitude for the firmer approach, which had helped her son progress much faster than anticipated.
How Parents Can Support Their Children Outside of Swim Lessons
Parents play a crucial role in helping their children adjust to swimming. One of the most effective ways parents can support their children is by easing them into the water environment outside of formal lessons. Visiting water playgrounds or shallow pools for playtime can help children associate water with fun, rather than fear. This exposure can build a positive relationship with water before structured lessons begin.
Additionally, staying calm and positive is essential. Children are incredibly perceptive, and if they sense that their parents are anxious about swim lessons, they are more likely to feel nervous themselves. By maintaining a reassuring and supportive attitude, parents can help their children feel more secure during lessons.
Patience and Persistence Lead to Success
In Coach Lawrence’s experience, the key to helping children overcome their initial fears is patience. Crying and resistance are normal reactions to learning something new and challenging. However, these early struggles do not indicate that a child should stop swim lessons. On the contrary, perseverance through these early challenges often leads to significant breakthroughs.
Swimming is a critical life skill that will benefit children for years to come, and the temporary discomfort of the first few lessons is far outweighed by the long-term rewards. With patience, understanding, and a tailored approach, most children will not only learn to swim but will come to love the water.
Lawrence Ang is a senior coach at the Singapore Swimming Academy. With over 50 years of experience, he has helped thousands of children develop both confidence and skill in the water, guiding them through the emotional and physical challenges of learning to swim.
